Oh Christine. Oh oh oh

My host mother in France was named Christine. She was in her early 50s and worked in an antique store. Much like the featured image of this post, she was a bit of a horror story but also an amazing cook and pretty nifty person.

I had really fun times living with her but some weird stuff also happened.

Some things that happened while living with Christine:

  • I learned a lot of French
  • I swam in her super cool lap pool while the rest of my comrades sat in the French heat of summer drinking warm soda- Who’s the peasant now?
  • I gained 10 pounds
  • I learned that getting a haircut in France is tough
  • I walked home in the pouring rain and proceeded to soak her floors as I ran upstairs to shower
  • I tried and failed to bond with her tiny poodle, Lalique
  • I heard really loud French pornography tapes blasting throughout the house in the middle of the night and the buzz of her vibrator through my wall

At first I thought that last one was a freaky nightmare dream but it happened more than once and my imagination just is not that good.

I was sleeping and then suddenly REALLY LOUD FRENCH PORNO SPILLING INTO MY ROOM FROM CHRISTINE’S ROOM I AM WIDE AWAKE.

I still have so many questions about this time in my life. How did she think that was ok? Did she realize I could hear it? Was she doing it on purpose? Did her tv volume break and she couldn’t turn it off in 40 minutes time? Did she realize that we had a Muslim man living in the house and I’m pretty sure porno isn’t allowed in that religion? What the fuck happened? Why did it happen several times? Was I dreaming it? Am I sure I wasn’t dreaming it? Why did she need to watch porno for 40 minutes? Why couldn’t I bring myself to ask my host sister if she heard it too?

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